Nick: [reading from the listing of a mail-order bride] “I’m looking for kindest, noble man.” Well, I got news for you, Sugar Pants: buying women ain’t that noble.

----------------

Nick: (to Warrick) Hey, wait a minute. You’re not telling me you’re in to this [mail-order bride] stuff.

Warrick: Me? No. But, you know, for a guy who’s over forty…lonely…tired of the bar scene. Got a little cash...wants to buy himself a sweet honey to be his companion.

Nick: He needs a translator, ‘cause you’re not even speakin’ the same language.

Warrick: That’s the best part.

Catherine: (in disgust) Ugh! [turns and walks out of the room]

[Warrick chuckles]

Nick: (clueless) Bes—best part of what?

---------------- 

[Sara opens her door to see Grissom outside]

Sara: Well if you’re here it can’t be good.

---------------- 

Sara: I have a problem with authority. I choose men who are emotionally unavailable. I’m self destructive. All of the above…

Grissom: Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?   Watch it

---------------- 

Sara: It’s funny. The things you remember and the things that you don’t, you know. There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bed and wall. There was this young cop puking his guts. I remember the woman who took me into foster care. I can’t remember her name—which is strange, you know, because I couldn’t let go of her hand.

Grissom: Well, the mind has its filters.

Sara: I do remember the looks. I became “the girl whose father was stabbed to death.” [long pause] Do you think there’s a murder gene?

Grissom: I don’t believe that genes are predictors of violent behavior.

Sara: You wouldn’t know that at my house. The fights, the yelling, trips to the hospital; I thought it was the way everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn’t.   Watch it

516  Big Middle

Nick: I don't get it. Grissom calls me up, I come here and I find you.
Catherine: Are you saying you don't like me as your supervisor?
Nick: Whatever.

----------------

Sara: It's not like you to get right down to business.
Hodges: Even I have off days, Sara.

----------------

[Woman grabs Grissom's butt. Grissom turns, in shock]
Woman: Fat girl, gay guy...it's not unheard of.
[Grissom turns and walks away]

----------------

Regina Owens: Men love purple.
Grissom: Do they?
Regina: It's "Purple Rain." [Grissom doesn't get it] Prince. Sexy. Custom color. You want it for the wife?
Grissom: I'm not married.
Regina: Girlfriend?
Grissom: Nope.
Regina: You want one?
Grissom: (winks) Yes, I do.   Listen to it

----------------

[Sara and Grissom are preparing a weighted dummy on a pulley]
Greg: How much does this weigh?
Grissom: 240 pounds at the moment. We'll increase the weight incrementally until you can't move.
Greg: Well, I can't lift that. (to Sara) And if I can't, you can't. (to Grissom) This is a safety issue.
Sara: Well, that's what the pulley is for, Greg. So relax and lie on your back.
Greg: [lying down] You know, this is exactly like a dream I had once. Except, it wasn't in a garage and Grissom wasn't watching--that was a different dream.   Watch it

518 Spark of Life

Grissom: This area was always a good place for stargazing.

Sara: It's a good makeout spot, too, so I've heard.

521 Hollywood Brass

Brass: You stay in touch with the old crew?
Annie Kramer:  You know, dirty cops don't like to hang with clean ones.
Brass: So that's why they called me squeaky?

----------------

Brass:  Rick. Rick, what are you doing here?
Warrick: I'm here for the HIDTA [High Intensity Drug Trafficking Areas] conference.  Buddy of mine from L.A.P.D. told me there was a new captain in town, stirring things up.  What are you doing here?
Brass: Ah, it's a long, sad story, man. 
Warrick: Have anything to do with a feisty little blonde named Ellie?
Brass: She's not a blonde anymore. 

----------------

Gun club man: You want to rent or shoot your own?
Brass: Um...I'll shoot what Vic shoots.
Gun club man:  (to Warrick) You shooting, too?
Warrick: Nah, I'm just going to hang back.  Let him blow off some steam.

520 Committed

Grissom: Crazy or not, here we come.

----------------

Grissom: Pica.

Doc Robbins: Boo?

----------------

Sara: (to Hodges) His chart indicated at least four other anti-psychotics. Why wasn't he getting his meds?

Hodges: Do I look clairvoyant?